Finding My Place

This past year has been hard in so many ways for me. Over New Years, someone asked me what the hardest part of the past year was, and to be honest I didn’t know what to say at first.

Studying abroad was something that I had always planned on doing. In fact, Calvin’s high numbers of students who travel abroad is what finalized my decision to come here. As my Senior year approached, I knew it was now or ever. With the encouragement and support of family and I friends I applied and was accepted to the Hungary Semester! This is what I had wanted, this is the reason I came to Calvin (or so I thought). The next six months I spent learning more about Eastern Europe and dreaming about all the places I would see.

Last August, I packed up my bags, said good-bye to my family, my fiancé and my friends and boarded the plane to Budapest. What was next, I really had no clue. As the plane landed in Budapest, the excitement grew as me and other Calvin students looked excitedly out the plane windows at the city that would be our home for the next four months.

Budapest, for those of who have not been there, is lovely. We spent the first week exploring the city and all its main spots and registering for our classes and such. We balanced home-sickness with excitement for the things our new home had to offer. This was not so bad until I spoke with my family.

I will never forget sitting at my computer reading the news. Could this really be happening? Someone very close to me fell ill and I wasn’t there. I wouldn’t be there for four months. The thought of this seemed impossible. So I had a tough decision to make, do I leave this great opportunity or do I wait in see what happens?

And with that I was once again boarding a plane. Only this time, I was alone and even more unsure. Was I making the right choice? Why is this happening? This doesn’t seem fair, I always wanted to study abroad and just when I get here life is calling me back to the US. The plane ride back to Grand Rapids is long and feels even longer when your head is full of doubt, sadness, relief, frustration, anger and just plain uncertainness.

The hardest part of last year wasn’t leaving Budapest. Or dealing with the changes in my family. Or adjusting to being at Calvin when I wasn’t supposed to be here. Yes, these things were all hard. But the hardest part was to remember to choose joy. My life felt pretty broken. Things didn’t go according to my plan. But through the hard times, I had to remember that God brought me back here for a reason and that I had to keep living my life.

And to be honest, God brought me so much Joy that semester. I fell in Love, for the first time in my four years at Calvin, with the city of Grand Rapids. I have found out that I am staying in Grand Rapids for the next four years and I could not be happier. I have realized that God brought me to Calvin not to send me on an adventure, but to discover Grand Rapids and all it has to offer.

-Savannah

Continuous Beginnings

It may seem like I am "cheating" the system by using an old blog post, but I have thought back to it multiple times in the past couple of weeks and am amazed at God's ability to teach and re-teach through past experiences and thoughts.

I always want to say something profound or reach some kind of revelation when I sit down to write [a blog]. Why is that? Why do any of us have the desire to say profound things or to do profound things? To be people who change the world and "make their mark." Can we not be more happy if we simply humble ourselves and stay quiet? Won't God teach us more through this than through constant meaningless chatter? And if we ever reach that point where we are no longer intentionally trying to say profound things or be profound people, this is when God will shine through us most and speak truth into our lives. Isn't it ironic how that works? We need to be willing to give it up in order to recieve and obtain what we desire. And of course that very lesson is portrayed through the verses of Matthew 10:38-39:

"and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

It is easy to look at those words and ignore the truth in them. But once you take a deep look into yourself and what you are striving for, their relevance speaks clearly.

Over the past few days I've been thinking about this concept and wondering what my ultimate goal is. What am I striving to be? More importantly, who am I striving to be? The person God made you to be is not too far from the reality. The question is are you going forward and actively trying to be that person and make it reality? Are you trying to bring the eternal to the mortal and live out God's kingdom on earth, like Jesus did?

Are you bringing joy, peace, happiness, positive energy, patience, kindness, and wisdom to the table? Or are you bringing the opposite?

I know for sure that I am messing up and making plenty of mistakes along the way, but the important thing is that with every day I am trying. I want nothing more than to bear and bring the fruits of the spirit to those around me. And although it is messy and not always the most fun and again, mistakes are made...it gives life the value that it deserves and makes it worth the struggle. 

"It is not that we are perfect now or that we will never have to struggle. Or that the old person won't come back from time to time. It's that this new life involves a constant, conscious decision to keeping dying to the old so that we can live in the new."
                                                                                         -Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis

So you've messed up. Ask God's forgiveness, apologize and make amends with those you need to, forgive yourself, and then pick yourself up and move on. Move foreward and put the past to rest. Continue to strive to be the you that God intended you to be and bring the best he has blessed you with. God is doing a new thing now."

Our lives consist of continuous beginnings. We are constantly starting new phases and making new discoveries. We are forced to find a balance of old and new. We make mistakes and start over. We experience the vibrancy and beauty of life right alongside the death and darkness. We must die, to truly live. What a mystery.

Spring is on the horizon. Praise the Lord for another new beginning.

-Melanie Roorda

Turning Love into Action: Sowing Seeds and Reaping Justice.

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of attending the Faith and International Development Conference on Calvin’s campus. The theme this year is "Turning Love into Action: Sowing Seeds and Reaping Justice" based on Christ's mandate to "love not with words or tongue but with actions and in truth" (1 John 3:18). Keynote speakers included Carlos Hernandez (Association for a More Just Society), Nicholas Wolterstorff (former Calvin philosopher, also professor at Yale), Dirk Booy (World Vision), and Michelle Tolentino (Compassion International). Representatives came from organizations such as Mennonite Central Committee, International Justice Mission, and CRWRC, to name a few. Lectures and breakout sessions ranged from human rights to charity, from justice to holistic development. I was inspired by courageous individuals who persevere in the face of struggles against violence, corruption, and injustice.

For me, the conference reinforced ideas that first smacked me in the face last year, at exactly this time. I was in the bustling city of Tegucigalpa, listening to enticing beats of Regueton, eating baleadas* and pupusas, speaking slang with my host family, learning about a different way and pace of living life. This was the first time I took a development class; a starting block on a journey of understanding what it means to be an agent of reconciliation, a catalyst for change, and a faithful presence in a community. My ideas of what it meant to engage with another were shattered and rebuilt.

Thinking about International Development has caused me to re-examine local development at Calvin and in Grand Rapids. I think the Service-Learning Center is a place where the core of good development is addressed. Service-Learning is a powerful means of fostering civic engagement and a healthy pride in one’s neighborhood and community. There is space for service no matter where we are in the cycle for understanding Service-Learning, from naïve to charity, to reciprocal and generative (Educating for Citizenship, By Carn McTighe Musil).

In reflecting on last year and attempting to be present in this year, it seems to me that it was easier for me to engage in a culture that was far different from my own. It was easier to find the strengths and be patient with areas for improvement in Honduras. Taking a step back seemed simpler as it was not a permanent space for me. When I think about North American culture, it is easy for me to be critical of a fast pace, consumerist, efficiency-driven society. Service-Learning (among other things) gives me a moment to take a step closer to my community, and simultaneously a step back to ask deeper questions about how we got to where we are.

I learned so much going abroad and was reminded of that through the conference. But I really think most of the learning has been in returning, especially experiencing Grand Rapids in a new and deeper ways through Service-Learning. There is great importance in acknowledging where we are in a cycle of learning, always on the lookout for the next opportunity to gain head and heart wisdom.

*Fresh handmade flour tortilla with beans, eggs, and mantequilla crema (sour cream) in the middle=yummy!

Posted by Liesje

A Round of Encouragement

Working toward the goal of living in a more just world can sometimes be a discouraging line of work. We fight against apathy, ignorance, computers, ourselves, and many other barriers on a daily basis. But then every once in a while, there comes that momentary ray of glimmering validating sunlight that reminds us why we do our work and that we really are accomplishing things after all. I have been very blessed to have been given two of those wonderful moments in the last few weeks that are still clearly impressed on me, and that I want to share as a means of encouragement.

The first was more than a moment, it was a whole afternoon of glimmering light. Last weekend, I attended a conference in Ann Arbor at the University of Michigan entitled "A Broken Dream: Human Rights in Urban America" which was put together by the university student organization Human Rights Through Education (HRTE). The conference began on Friday with the screening of a documentary entitled "The Vanishing City" which talked about gentrification issues in New York City. The Saturday portion of the conference featured Chazz Miller (Public Art Workz) speaking on art as means of empowerment in Detroit, Mo Abdollahi (ONEMichigan) speaking on the DREAM Act and immigration issues, and Nusrat Venimiglia (Equality Michigan) speaking on her work against bullying towards the LGBT community. I found out about this conference because one of my good friends from middle school is a part of HRTE and spent the last year working to make this happen. It was like a breath of fresh air to go to another university and hear about work being done in different communities, to hear college students getting hardcore about issues of social justice, to hear them having the same kinds of conversations that we have in our staff meetings at the Service-Learning Center, to be able to get excited and talk with my friend about things that we didn't know we both cared about. It was very much a thing of beauty.

The second glimmering light came at the bi-annual Spanish service-learning agency meeting. As the coordinator for the Literature, Languages, and Arts division of the college, this is something I organize at the beginning of every semester. I create a place where agency partners can come talk about the work they are doing in the community and how students can get involved, and where students can come listen and learn and then talk to agency representatives and get connected. My very favorite part of the meeting every time is after the students have left, when the agency representatives and I stick around and chat for a bit. I love getting to know them as people and seeing them talk to each other and learn about each other's work in the nonprofit sector. This semester, two of the agency representatives turned out to be old friends that had lost contact. When they saw each other, they both got very excited and greeted each other with this huge embrace that was very heartening to see.

These two rays of light beaming into my world have been very instrumental in helping me to see my work through a wider lens. It's very easy to get bogged down on failures or just on the magnitude of the work that remains to be done for the bringing of the kingdom. For those of you feeling overwhelmed by these burdens, let me give you this encouragement: look around you and be stregthened in your resolve by the fortitude and passion of those working for justice in your world, in your country, in your state. Be encouraged by those working right alongside you in your community. Be renewed by the sense of common purpose not only with those who believe the same as you, but also with those who may believe very differently than you, yet who are still carrying on wonderful work. Stretch outside of your normal circles to look for commonality. I tell you now with all confidence, you will surely find it!

Posted by Angela Svaan

Dwelling in the Grey

We were talking at our staff meeting last night about part of Dan Butin's "Service-Learning in Theory and Practice," particularly about what it means to dwell in the grey. In the chapter we read, Butin is writing about various ways to theorize service-learning, one of them being an approach he calls "antifoundationalism." This obnoxiously-long phrase means something just as vague as the word itself: it's about challenging our biases and assumptions, avoiding an end goal which is too-easily achieved, and forcing us to remain open to different ideas and continue hard discussions. In short, antifoundationalism is about seeing the world in shades of grey.

Which is hard, eh? (I don't know why my Canadian side is coming out so much right now... hmm, maybe it's an unconscious attempt to challenge your assumptions! Just for clarification since I will continue to refer to the US as "our country," etc., in this post: I'm American, but my mom is not. And sorry to any non-American readers--it's a convenient shorthand, though an ironic assumption for this post...) Anyway. We were sitting at our meeting wondering how well our office does at the job of encouraging dialogue on the 'greyness' of life and service, which is an important question to ask, when I realized how inadequate I am to help lead that discussion. I struggle with allowing grey in my own life.

Personally, I am far too prone to trying to figure things out in my head, reducing them to black and white so that I can form an opinion about them and proclaim it boldly. It's tiring to dwell in the grey! It can be exhausting to never settle, to continuously probe for the other side of the story, to sweat long and hard in the dirty dig for truth. So, sometimes I long for easy answers that simply work, no matter what. But I don't think they exist. We're often guilty of thinking they do, but the reality is that things in life are never--yes, I think that's an appropriately-strong word--black and white.

This interim I took a class on war. I had been to Vietnam and Cambodia last interim to study the Vietnam War (or, in their words, the American War... interesting switch of perspective, eh?). I also was able to spend time in Bosnia this summer studying the war there and reconciliation efforts in the wake of the violence. My worldview was literally exploded this year, expanding so fast that I'm still not even sure what's happened--sometimes, all I know is that the world is much bigger and more complicated than I once thought. It hit home again over interim: war--in fact, all of life!--is not black and white. My war class frustrated me because of its over-simplicity, because of the way we often focused exclusively on the American military, neglecting to engage really deeply with 'other' (non-mainstream-American) traditions, voices, points of view, beliefs about what is just and right. Maybe we would still end up in disagreement. But the 'other' still deserves legitimacy. To assume that the story of our own country's interests is the only proper metanarrative to use in explaining war--and the rightness and wrongness of what happens there--is a scary, scary problem.

I think there's a connection here to the work of the Service-Learning Center. Part of our work is to take Calvin students, a majority of whom still come from the same socioeconomic, racial, and educational background, and expose them to the 'other.' It doesn't stop there, of course--from that exposure we hopefully move to relationship, challenge, questions, acceptance; hopefully we move from focusing on our own ability to serve to humbly being served ourselves, and from giving charity to learning how to really love. It can be a transformative process, a really beautiful and challenging thing. But a large part of that process is the difficult and terrifying piece in which we let go of our assumptions. In studying war, that means acknowledging that the 'other' was fighting for a cause he or she believed in just as legitimately as your own country's soldier, and that the lives of 'other' soldiers and their families are just as valuable as the lives of your own people. It's a difficult (and often unpopular) thing. It challenges the way we act, if we really believe it. In service-learning, a similar thing happens, but in our context, it means asking difficult and terrifying questions that challenge our assumptions about our own motives, privilege, efficacy, pride, and wisdom--asking whether or not, at the end of the day, we actually have offered anything to to our neighbors after all. That's not always popular either, but it's the greyness we must dwell in if we're going to be engaging our community as authentically as we ought.

It's not simple. There are too many people with heart-wrenching stories and valid perspectives for life to ever be simple. War is not simple, once we start to hear the stories of refugees and Iraqi soldiers and Afghani store owners and American Marines. Loving and serving and learning with our community is not simple either, once we start to hear the stories of partner agencies, homeless alcoholics who have been abandoned by their churches, pastors who sacrifice every evening to work with refugees, parole officers, store owners involved in urban renewal, and refugees from wars... no, none of it is easy. The truth is not black and white. It's complicated and grey, and this is the reality of the world we live in. Thank God we're in a place where we can embrace it. Let's keep doing so.

Posted by Kelly

Institute on College Student Values

I had the privilege of attending a small conference last weekend - the John C. Dalton Institute on College Student Values at Florida State University in Tallahassee. There were about 200 other conferees in attendance, from as far away as Alaska and Maine and California. Keynote speakers included Parker Palmer and Marcia Baxter Magolda, both of whom were excellent in their own ways. Workshops touched on topics ranging from Reflective Practices, to a better understanding of the Strengths Inventory, to an explanation of Aristotle's ideas about Eudaimonia. Two other workshops were offered by Calvin folks, in addition to mine, which was on Covenant-Making as Orienting Practice.

Ashley Pace, Calvin senior and Service-Learning Center student staff member, gave what may have been the only presentation by an undergraduate student at the conference - she talked about her summer research on findings from the CIRP and NSSE national surveys - trends that relate to how students are affected by service-learning practice on college campuses. And a group of three Resident Directors - Aaron Einfeld, Kyle Heys, and Annie Mas-Smith - presented on 4 practices in Calvin's Residence Life experience that foster benevolent purpose in Calvin students. I learned a lot, met new people, and came away with a deeper appreciation for the work that is done by way of the Service-Learning Center at Calvin College.

So many of the ideas that were presented were ideas that are essentially already underway, if not well established, in our office and among our students. For this we can be grateful. Do we have much to learn from others in different institutions? Absolutely. I made contacts and took notes, and have plans for sharing information and strategies with our group over the next several weeks. For now though, I am grateful for the opportunity to attend the Institute, yes; but more importantly, to return to work. 

Adelante.

A Quote to Ponder

“The poor who walk on the roads and through the deserts and rough places of this world call me to humility – derived from the Latin word “humus,” which means earth or soil. I have to remain close to the soil, the earth. Often I look up into the clouds and daydream about a better world. But my dreams will never bear fruit unless I keep turning my eyes again and again back to the earth and to all those people walking their long, fatiguing walks and inviting me to accompany them. But what does it mean to walk with the poor? It means to recognize my own poverty: my deep inner brokenness, my fatigue, my powerlessness, my mortality. It is there that I am connected with the earth; there that I am truly humble. Yes, it is there that I enter into solidarity with all who walk the earth and discover that I, too, am loved as a very fragile, precious person.”

-Henri Nouwen